FUCK. Idk what Im even feeling these days. Im such a mess. Im sad as fuck, I can’t even lie about that. I’m so gay sometimes. I can’t help that I’m an over emotional fucking weirdo. I kinda hate that I always put up this front because no one can ever tell when Im upset. Everyone always thinks that Im happy 24/7 and that nothing ever bothers me. If you all only knew. I mean theres nothing so bad in my life right now that I should be feeling like this. Its just the usual. Another bitch broke my fucking heart. Now, this is only the second time its ever happened but it still hurts. We both got what we wanted but once again, life got in the way. People complicate shit to much and thats what causes things to end. I knew this would happen tho. I was playing with fire from the beginning and I finally got burned. Thats me tho, I never listen to people or learn my lesson. I just keep doing what makes me happy for those moments. I do it for the thrill, even when i know i’ll end up getting hurt. I guess Im just used to that feeling now. I like the fact that I can bounce back quickly tho. The first time a guy ever seriously hurt me, it felt like the world was about to end. Now its just like “I’ll get over it so whatever”. Whats funny as fuck to me is that I never want the guys that want me or make it easy for me. I like someone who’s gonna make me work for it and not be on me all the time. I guess I just wanted him to bad and I always want what I can’t truly have. What pisses me off, is when shit is so damn good in the beginning then turns to shit in the end. Like why does that have to happen? Why can’t things just stay good? Its all good tho. Everything happens for a reason.